Last night I finally got around to watching Erik Meijer’s keynote from last year’s Reaktor conference. It was called “One Hacker Way” and, while it contains much that is apocryphal – or at least wildly inaccurate – it scores over the older, more pedestrian type of keynote in two important ways: first it is highly contentious, and second, Erik sports a bright, tie-dyed T-shirt.

erik-meijer

Some of the highlights of this personal rant were:

  • “Agile is a cancer”
  • “TDD is for pussies”
  • Stand-ups eat into valuable coding time
  • Coders should be treated (and paid) like professional athletes
  • Hierarchical structures work for the army and the church, so they must be good

There were times that I found myself nodding in agreement, though – when he compared Scrum certification to a pyramid selling scheme, for instance – but mostly it was just opinion, conspicuously lacking the support of empirical data (which was one of his criticisms of agile).

I could go on, but if you’re still interested then I recommend you just go watch the video.

abc

My final thought is that whole experience was vaguely reminiscent of a scene from the excellent movie “Glengarry Glen Ross”, where Alec Baldwin’s character harangues the dejected real-estate salesmen:

F*** YOU, that’s my name!! You know why, mister? ‘Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an $80,000 BMW. That’s my name!! And your name is “you’re wanting”. And you can’t play in a hacker‘s game. You can’t write code. Then go home home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life! Checking in code! You hear me, you f***in’ faggots? [Blake flips over a blackboard which has letters on it: ABC] A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Coding. Always be coding! Always be coding!

And, if you’re over 32 (when Erik says you’re too old to code) you can always go ranting on the conference circuit 😉